The Coaching Conversation Framework

SUMMARY

As a leader, do you find that your coaching tends to just be all over the place that it's hit and miss, you're not quite sure, and you get together with the person you're coaching, and you don't feel like you actually make any headway?

Hi, this is Grant Herbert, emotional intelligence speaker and trainer of the year and master coach trainer. And today, I want to continue our conversation around coaching and mentoring others by helping you get much more value for you and the person you're coaching in your coaching relationship and the sessions you have together by unpacking for you the coaching conversation framework.

In this week's episode, let me unpack for you the elements of a great coaching conversation.

1. Define the challenge.

2. Determine the outcome.

3. Generate some options.

4. Choose a strategy.

5. Equip them with resources.

6. Anchor their plan.

So there you have the elements of a great coaching conversation that changes and adjusts a little bit when we go into the next session.

Well, that's it from me for another week. Join me again next week as we jump into a new competency in relationship management, and we talk about ways of building trust.

I'll see you then.

TRANSCRIPT

As a leader, do you find that your coaching tends to just be all over the place that it's hit and miss, you're not quite sure, and you get together with the person you're coaching, and you don't feel like you actually make any headway?

Well, stick with me because I'm going to show you how to change that in this week's episode.

Hi, this is Grant Herbert, emotional intelligence speaker and trainer of the year and master coach trainer. And today, I want to continue our conversation around coaching and mentoring others by helping you get much more value for you and the person you're coaching in your coaching relationship and the sessions you have together by unpacking for you the coaching conversation framework.

We've already established that coaching is a relationship. It's a partnership where two people, a coach and a coachee, collaborate to get the coachee to where they need to go. Last week, we looked at being able to set up a relationship environment that allows for that to happen.

Coaching is all about having conversations between two human beings, where powerful questions are being asked, active listening, and all the things that we established as vital skills for a coach. However, without having that in some sort of a framework, it just tends to go all over the place. And it's a chat, not a coaching conversation.

So let me unpack for you the elements of a great coaching conversation.

1. Define the challenge.

So, the first thing that you want to do as a coach is to understand what it is that's ahead of them.

In the position where they are right now, what is holding them back, and what do they see as their biggest challenge right now?

Understanding it through their lens, with empathy and getting a clear picture of why this is important to them and why they want to make this change.

The challenge of just going ahead without that clear picture is that your role as the coach is to facilitate everything needed to help them go from there to where they want to go.

If you're not clear on the actual challenge and the problems they are going through, the roadblocks that are holding them back, you might coach them down the wrong path.

So being able to determine what the challenge is that you and the coachee will work together on is the first step.

2. Determine the outcome.

Try to understand what the outcome of the coaching session is: "What are you doing in this block of coaching that you want to achieve?"

"You know the problem; what are you going to do about it?"

And specifically, in this conversation, "what do you need to arrive at the end of this conversation so that you know what you need to know and feel confident to work through the next part of the journey?"

Coaching is not all about the conversation that you have with your coachee; where the results come from what happens between those sessions. And you, as the coach, need to make sure that you understand where they're going and what they need to be able to get there before you complete the session.

So by asking some great questions, you and your coachee can determine the outcome.

3. Generate some options.

Coaching, as I said, is a conversation, and in that conversation, the coach can ask some great questions to generate some ideas from the coachee as to how they might be able to change things.

As I said, as a leader, you sometimes can swap your hats and bring in a little bit of mentoring when they're not sure.

Coaching is about allowing them to work out what they could do. What are the options they have ahead of them to overcome those roadblocks and get that desired outcome?

So together, working on that will mean that they feel empowered to make the change because there are opportunities there for them to work on.

4. Choose a strategy.

So now that we know what the problem is and what we want to get to instead, we've brainstormed some ideas, and it's now time to choose a strategy.

That strategy is something that the coachee feels confident will move the needle towards where they want to go.

A strategy means that there could be some shifts in thinking and behaviour to make that change and get where it is that they want to go.

Having a clear set of steps ahead that is going to overcome those roadblocks and get them to the desired destination is exactly what you, as the coach, can help them to establish before moving on.

5. Equip them with resources.

You both have now worked out the problem. You know where you want to go, and have a strategy together.

However, even with that strategy, there may be some different mindsets, behaviours, and skills that your coachee needs to have to execute that strategy and get the result they want.

For me, a lot of times, that's in me being able to do some work in the conversation to say things like, "What do you feel you need to shift so that you can do that?" Asking a great question like that will bring out the person I'm coaching what they feel they need.

Sometimes they don't know, and that's where I can ask permission to give them an insight from my own experience.

So, make sure they are equipped with what they need to go on the next leg of their coaching journey.

6. Anchor their plan.

In the whole coaching conversation, we've looked at the challenge, and we've looked at the outcome they want. Instead, we've come up with some ideas, picked a strategy, and given them what they need to go on that journey.

Now, anchoring the plan is all about getting their commitment.

It's two things, as I said, that I, as a coach, bring — support and accountability.

So, making sure that that plan is anchored with things like putting it in their calendar when they're going to do certain things that they've committed to doing. Asking them when the check-in is going to be, how will they know that they've got there and how will they let you know.

Before the session's finished, they know the value of doing what they say that they're going to do.

So there you have the elements of a great coaching conversation that changes and adjusts a little bit when we go into the next session.

So what I want to do is start by checking in and looking at what transpired in the period between our last session and today and celebrate the wins.

What did you get done? What does that mean in actually embedding those and extracting the lessons from those so that they can take them forward?

Have a look at what they didn't get done that they committed to and why.

A coaching session, as I'm calling it, is a conversation. It's in a framework. It has a destination and a purpose. And by using this framework and adopting that in your coaching and then adapting any of the languages that I've used to suit what it is that you're doing is going to mean that you're going to be able to take your coachee from where they are to where they want to go.

Over this month, we've talked about coaching and mentoring others. We've looked at many aspects within that, and I've given you some key areas that you can focus on to go and start a coaching relationship with the people in your team.

You can move away from performance review to coaching and developing your team and taking them on a journey of incremental change, where they feel better about themselves and their relationship with you.

And through that collaboration, your relationship is built even stronger and you both have a mutually beneficial time together, and you both see the rewards of that.

Well, that's it from me for another week. Join me again next week as we jump into a new competency in relationship management, and we talk about ways of building trust.

I'll see you then.