Shifting Your Behaviour
SUMMARY
Are you calm and collected in emotionally charged situations, or do you react like most people? Well, stick with me because this week I will show you how to do the former.
Today, we will look at a process I teach to help my clients pull the reins on that unresourceful behaviour. Instead of going from an initial emotion to thoughts that lead to that behaviour you don't want, I will show you exactly what you need to do to harness that gap between the physical and the psychological.
TRANSCRIPT
Are you calm and collected in emotionally charged situations, or do you react like most people?
Hi, this is Grant Herbert, Leadership and Sustainable Performance Coach, and today I'm going to continue our conversation around Emotional Intelligence by helping you to Shift Your Behaviour.
Emotions are those physiological signs, cues, and clues that you experience in your body and then make mean something about us. That then determines what you think about and this in turn forms thinking patterns. So, you've gone from the physiological to the psychological, and what you want to do is manage what goes on in that psychological process.
Today, we will look at a five-step process.
The first step: name the emotion. You need to recognise the emotion you're experiencing and name it.
The second step: ask yourself "What am I thinking right now?" You're just collecting data and not going deep into the emotion.
The third step: ask yourself "What do I want to happen here?" Because you are now de-escalating, you can decide where you want your behaviour to take you.
The fourth step: ask yourself "What could I do or say right now that would sabotage me from getting to the outcome I want?" You are checking in with your mini-me, looking at your past patterns so that you can decide to go somewhere else instead.
The fifth step: ask yourself "What could I do right now that would actually take me towards that outcome?" This is resourceful behaviour.
So, the process has taken you from an initial experience of an emotion, a sensation in your body, to a behaviour that is good for you, others, and the greater good.
You can be in control of your own behaviour. It's not about managing the emotion, but managing the response to the emotion.
Well, that's it for me for another week. I'll see you then.
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